Gaffe Gaffe, I Thought I'd Die (August 14, 2012)

It’s time to lighten it up a bit, with a new campaign song about Mitt’s proclivity for foot in mouth.  This one is based on the old Beau Brummels' hit, “Laugh Laugh”….I call it “Gaffe Gaffe.”

I hate to say it but I know it’s so
I can’t avoid myself
I need to show that I’m a common Joe, but
Often my odd words betray my…monstrous wealth

I talk about the Cadillacs we own
Car elevators built
The Nascar owners to whom I’m well known
All this illustrates I’m elite… to the hilt

Gaffe, gaffe, I thought I'd die
It seems so easy for me,
Gaffe, gaffe, I am the guy
Who talked his way to misery
Ungainly, I’m so ungainly

Don't think I don’t know what I’m doing when
I flip and then I flop
But when I toss off fancy dressage gems
I don’t seem to get that I’m a…dandy fop

Won't say I'm sorry for the things I said
I’ll just throw up my hands
Won’t say I ruined all my global cred
When I said the Brits can’t match my…Olympic plans

Gaffe, gaffe, I thought I'd die
It seems so easy for me,
Gaffe, gaffe, I am the guy
Who talked his way to misery
Ungainly, I’m so ungainly

I called Paul Ryan “our next President”

It made you cringe at me

After I speak you can’t tell what I meant

My circumlocution is a...mystery

My campaign handlers keep me on a leash

Manage just what I say

They try to keep the press out of my reach

But the wrong words still slip out, oh...once a day

Gaffe, gaffe, I thought I'd die
It seems so easy for me,
Gaffe, gaffe, I am the guy
Who talked his way to misery
Ungainly, I’m so ungainly

Back soon with more on Paul Ryan!  (But just a clue....the polls are bad, privately the Republicans think it was a disastrous pick, and the Obama machine is on full blast...do I hear "end Medicare as we know it..." endlessly replaying in Florida?)

Comments welcome!