Help Me Ryan...Help Help Me Ryan (August 29, 2012)

So Rick Santorum forgot to mention Mitt Romney until the very last sentence.  Ann Romney "humanized" Mitt by telling us, uh, what a capable President he would be.  And Chris Christie described our need for blunt, crusading truth tellers (like, say, Chris Christie) as leaders, while Mitt grimaced.  Republican Convention Night One is in the books!

Paul Ryan is the featured speaker tonight...and here's a little ditty to set him up...to the tune of the Beach Boys' classic, "Help Me Rhonda" (with thanks to Eric for the idea...).

Well since my polls were down

I was cranking data in my head

Thinkin’ ‘bout which Veep just might

Get me up and out ahead

Well, Ryan you look so fine (look so fine!)

You got a plan which makes the right all mine

You gotta help me Ryan

Help me give my race a jump start

Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan

Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, yeah, give my race a jump start

I thought about Christie

But he’s a giant spotlight hog (wa wa-ooo)

And Pawlenty and Portman

Have the wattage of a sleepin’ dog (wa wa-ooo)

Well, Ryan you caught my eye (caught my eye!)

And I can give you lotsa reasons why

You gotta help me Ryan

Help me give my race a jump start

Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan

Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan yeah, give my race a jump start

Well since you joined the show

Your face is showing up everywhere (wa wa-ooo)

But I guess I shoulda known

That all we’d talk about is Medicare (wa wa-ooo)

Oh Ryan we might get trounced (might get trounced!)

You ain’t been given me much of a bounce

You gotta help me Ryan

Help me give my race a jump start

Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan

Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan, help, help me Ryan
Help me Ryan yeah, give my race a jump start

Comments welcome!